My children’s school has an annual golf tournament. And, needless to say… I don’t golf. So, in the past, I never participated… because I’m not a golfer. Nothing against the sport—I just never tried it. And honestly, I didn’t want to make a fool of myself or embarrass my kids. I’m a bit of a perfectionist and I like to do things well! That makes sense, right? Wrong!

I needed an attitude check. This year, I decided to participate. I thought to myself, I ask my patients to do new things, think in new ways, and make new choices. I challenge my patients every day to step out of their comfort zones. I’m always asking them to think a little bit differently, incorporate new foods into their diets, and change how they move and exercise. So, I decided that it’s time for me to take my own advice! I really need to step out of my comfort zone, forget the perfectionist attitude, throw caution to the wind, and be in the annual tournament.

So, I’m taking the plunge. I’m making a commitment to the school and myself. I’m going to golf! Yes, I am! (I need to keep repeating that so it sinks in.) I knew I needed to do some things differently to make this a reality. And, like anyone wanting to make a change, there are a few phases one needs to go through.

In order for change to happen, there are five stages that occur. Are you wanting to make some kind of a change in your life? Here’s the process that you’ll need to go through in order to make it happen.

1. Precontemplation

In this stage, you aren’t even aware that you need to make a change. When it came to this golf tournament, I was in the precontemplation stage when I would think, I don’t need to participate—others will. Another scenario I have heard from patients is, I walk all day at work—there’s no need for more exercise.

2. Contemplation

This is the phase in the process where your level of awareness is heightened. It’s when I started thinking, I should do this—I would be able to raise more money if I personally participated. And, again, here’s another example from patients: I would really like to run a 5K someday. There is great value in being truly involved in something.

This phase also incorporates the reasons you want to make a change. Delineating goals is an important step in this phase. For me, my reasons were simple. First, I felt compelled to do what I ask so many of my patients to do—step out and try. Second, I wanted to raise money for my kids’ wonderful school. And, lastly, I wanted to make my kids proud of their mama! Children get so excited when their parents are involved at school events.

3. Preparation

“Preparation” is the stage where you gather the tools and information you need in order to make the change. In order to make the change successful, you ask yourself:

1. Who can help me?
2. What do I need?
3. Where do I find the experts?
4. How much time/resources do I need to invest?

In my case, I realized that I didn’t have any of the necessary tools to golf. Literally and figuratively. So, I started thinking who, what, where and how. I spoke with patients and friends who are “in the know” when it comes to golf attire, lingo, clubs, and etiquette. (Who knew there was an actual etiquette? Collared shirts. Wow!)

I am blessed with a patient who even writes for a golf forum. Jackpot! The expert I needed. We can all learn from others with more experience to help us prepare, take action, and succeed in making a change.

4. Action

This, of course, is actually doing what you set out to accomplish! Just do it (to coin a phrase)! And practice! After practicing for the next few weeks, I’ll participate in the golf tournament on May 5th.

5. Maintenance

This is the last step in the process of change, and it’s extremely important! In order for your nervous system to create a new habit or new pattern, you need to be doing whatever you set out to accomplish for at least six weeks.

In my case, I may not have set out to become a golf pro or even a great golfer. I certainly don’t have the six weeks to make golf a neurological pattern before the tournament. The most important thing for me is that I am willing, even with some reluctance, to step out of my comfort zone. So, it’s important for me to continue to be aware that my attitude changed. Perfectionism is for the birdies! (A little golf humor.)

How are you wanting to step out of your comfort zone? You might start out by feeling a little uneasy about it, but after the initial anxiety, you’ll only reap the benefits. Let me know what change you’ve decided to make by leaving a comment below.

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Think well,
Dr. Carol

To sponsor Dr. Carol in Calvary Chapel Academy’s 9th Annual Golf Tournament on May 5th, contact our office.